Wahoooo!!!! What a ride the past month and a bit has been, and talk about having to put my trust into God.

I am no longer living at home with my parents, but with another family which is part of the program. I am busy six days out of the week, but it may as well be seven, because I am always doing homework or something along those lines.

Okay let me start from the beginning. We had orientation, met the 9 guys in my class, and 9 girls (including me). Then the next day was the fall family picnic and service. I dropped a table on my foot, and had to go get an x-ray (not broken, just badly bruised). My class has turned out pretty accident prone so far already.
Lots of reading the first few week and a half of guidelines. That was very overwhelming, and I had to really hand over some things to God (still handing many things over to Him).
Learning some amazing things already, already about myself, and about where I stand with God, and what I mean to Him. I am not just little nobody Kristina, but I am a daughter of Christ.
I am learning what it's like to have 9 extra brothers for the year, and then some. Learning how to let them open doors for me, and not be selfish, and take that need away from them.
This past month, I have been learning what authority is, and how to obey to it. Yeah, that is a difficult one for me. Still am working on it. Learning how to be an example. Learning how to keep my mouth shut if I don't have anything nice to say. Sometimes I keep it shut alot.

This past week, Wednesday to be exact, something significant happened. I saw my psychiatrist, and he told me he had run out of options for me. I was beyond help. Naturally at first I just was like, Woah. The negative thoughts started coming into my mind, and I was just bombarded. Once I had left, and calmed down some, and took some time with God, I was able to find peace. Please don't take this as Kristina is coming off of her medications (I have way more sense then that). What I am saying, is, I just know God will take care of me. If that be by finding me a new doctor, by His healing, either way, I just know things will be good. I think to have come to a peace like that in such a short time is amazing. So yes, if you've known me awhile, you would know it's significant.

So friends, I am off to work on my homework. Hope you are all leading happy lives.
Kristina

Twenty Five more days

Not too much to report on at the moment.
I have been busy with pre-Masters Commission stuff for the last while. I was given homework to do even before the course began (I know aren't I a lucky one!), so I was pretty busy with that. I also have been busy sorting through things at home, and trying to figure out what to take with me. Which apparently is alot of stuff. I am pretty sure that once I have it packed into suitcases and boxes it won't look so bad.
Everyday I seem to have a mini-meltdown in anticipation. There is always something I need to do and I haven't done.
But at this point, it's doing the best I can with what I have, trusting God, and going with the flow.

Let it Rain

I was indeed dutifully typing away on my book review, when mom called me into the garage to help her sort through some old stuff. But after a serious dust attack, I had to come inside where I would be able to control my itches a little bit better.
Here, I went to my faithful friend youTube, and started listening to my new favorite song. You can listen to it here. The other day this was song was sung in church by the whole congregation. Talk about feeling God's wonderful presence. Wow.

By the way, the song is called Let it Rain by Micheal W. Smith. That wasn't just my title for the heck of it you know!

I can promise you that once September hits, by blog posts will be back to being few and far in between. Until then, here is the unemployed me, just procrastinating. At the moment, I am taking a "break" from writing a bunch of chapter reviews, on a book called Walls of my Heart. Pretty good book, and pretty much on the nose so far.
I am debating going to the lake today with a bunch of people, BUT, I do need to finish this review, so I think not.
Fun and games are over....
Off I go to finish typing my review!

Countdown....

With less then a month away until I move out and begin the Masters Commission, it is all I can do not to fret. At this point, I am having to be continuously reminded to trust that God will provide. I hate that I have to be reminded though, and I wish it would come more easily. But I think even the "best" Christians, can find it difficult to remember to do.


Probably my biggest worry is that I wouldn't have enough clothes, or the right clothes. Not that it's a cliche or that you have to go with the jones. But when you go in, you need to have modest clothes, and they have requirements. I need to get things like work gloves, black shoes, dress shoes, (I honestly hate shoes), a travel iron (mom said she had one, I reminded her that one from the 70's probably isn't safe to use anymore). Gosh the list is endless it feels. But I am really trying to have faith that God will provide in the end. I mean He has had it all planned out from the beginning.
So like I was told, things like clothes, and money, and travel irons are just small things in His eyes.

Also, instead of looking at the negative (which I am really great at doing), I am trying to focus on the blessings. Friends, and people who barely even know me are raiding there closets and giving me much needed clothing. Someone has offered to sponsor me with some of the things I need.
Someone else has been helping me manage my finances. I have great emotional support and counsel. I am blessed with prayers.

Yep, it's not too bad most days.

Graduation 2009

I feel like I need to fully address my graduation. Although it was 2 months ago, and yes I am late with pictures, I need to say it was a momentous event in my life. Such an accomplishment. Being able to walk accross that stage, finally, was unbelievable. I honestly, never thought it would happen. And now, I can move on to bigger, and better things. I will always be grateful for the staff at the school, for many of them, they went above and beyond what they were paid to do. When I first began at the school, I hadn't been in a school setting in about 8 years. At this time, I had been depressed, suicidal, and extremely fearful of people. Instead of just throwing me in the room, and saying "deal with it", they supported me. Then mom got sick. That was hard in itself, and yet they were there each step of the way. Anything a person can go through, I went through, and they helped me through it. They are pretty awesome people at that school. Yes the kids there are well just that, kids, so I can forgive that. They were going through there own things. But I am just glad to say, I made it out of there with minimal damage (there were a few too many lock downs for my liking).

Another day I will go on about how grateful I am for my family ;)

Giving up?

I look at other woman's blogs mckmama, patrice, or angie. They are talented writers and bloggers. I believe it's because they can write so descriptively about how they feel with what is going on in there lives.

As for me, what really captures me, is how they can openly write about God, and it is okay.

I love it.

Since I am a newer Christian, this has been a battle in my personal life, and in my blogging world. Gosh, it has been a battle in all aspect of my life, every nook and cranny. It's true, once you take Jesus into your heart, the enemy works even harder to steal, kill and destroy you.

The fact is, I do not want to hide the biggest part of my life from my blog. Either I blog or I don't, and I do enjoy blogging. So you can take it or leave it. Read my blog or not.

For the month of August I will continue blogging. After that, I will be busy with school stuff Masters Commission (yes I felt God lead me to that choice), so I am unsure how often I will blog, but I still will.

Kristina

The seasons

Now, let me clearly state, I HATE THIS HEAT!!!
Good grief. 37c, feels like 45c. More like 45c, feels like 50c. Ever since I can remember, I have never really gotten along with the heat. I really started noticing it the summer I was 10, and I got heat stroke. The next summer the same thing happened. Then puberty hit, and then I discovered the joy of trying to hide horrible sweat stains. I mean come on, why on earth do we have to sweat in some of these places?
Summer 2009 is the summer of sweat dripping down your face, arms, back, and legs. Oh joy.

See, I am more of a spring gal, and maybe give me a bit of fall. I love the colors. The temperature is wonderful. You can wear pants, and usually a light sweater. There is no gross sweating, the weather is usually bearable to walk to the car. There is no roasting like a roatisary chicken and getting skin cancer. Oh yeah, and in the spring and fall, we dont see these girls and guys wearing just enough clothing to be considered legal. In the spring and fall, they are covered up nicely. Yeppers.
In the spring and fall, I don't have to give my cat a bath to cool her down because of her asthma. Nope.

FALL BRING YOUR BUTT HERE NOW!!!!